Lipstick On a Pig?
Really America?
“You know what the difference is between pit bull and a hockey mom? Lipstick.” — Sarah Palin, Republican Vice Presidential Nominee
“You can put lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It’s still going to stink after eight years.” — Barack Obama, Democratic Presidential Nominee
“The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.” — Maureen Murphy Former Illinois State Rep. (R)
I’m not sure who I’m more disgusted with right now: the Republican Party or the media. Are they serious? Barack Obama should apologize for his “lipstick on a pig” comment right after George H. Bush apologizes for “No new taxes” and George W. Bush apologizes for deceiving the American people about weapons of mass of destruction. The difference is the lipstick issue is a non issue.
We don’t have much time left between now and November 4. We certainly don’t have it waste on silliness like this. I want to hear about health care, education, housing, energy, and why spinach and tomatoes are trying to kill me.
If we’re gonna go there, let’s go there with gusto! Let’s talk about lipstick. If ever there was an industry in need of government regulation it’s the makeup industry. Let’s start with price regulation. Why does the same tube of lipstick cost $5 in one store and $8 in another? How about the elimination of false claims? “Look better!” Than who? “Feel better!” Than what? “Look years younger!” Really? Exactly how many years are we talking? Two? 10? 20?
You can’t buy a cup of coffee in this country without being warned about it’s hotness, and yet makeup comes with no directions whatsoever. Nothing. Zip. Nada. You buy at your own risk. That’ll change the minute someone shoves a stick of lip liner up their nose.
We could also stand a little government oversight on lipstick color. When you buy it at the store the package says it’s pink, but looks peach and it goes on purple. Iraq, Fannie Mae, and tainted food supply be damned. Let’s get serious about makeup. Who’s going to lead on this most serious of issues? John McCain? Barack Obama? Tyra? The American People need somebody to take a stand.
© 2008 Leighann Lord
A very funny lady on the stage and on the page, stand-up comedian Leighann Lord pens a weekly humor column with topics ranging from the personal to the political, from the silly to the sophisticated. Reminiscent of a modern day Erma Bombeck (famed nationally syndicated humor columnist), a fan dubbed Leighann, “The Urban Erma” and the name stuck. It’s a fun, fast read that leaves you laughing, or at least wondering why we don’t have a comprehensive mental health care plan. Visit Leighann at MySpace.
