Okay, call me shallow but my favorite news story last week was about the man who had his nine-year-old daughter with him as he robbed a convenience store. Are baby sitters that expensive? I guess the only bright side to this story is that the kid wasn’t holding the gun and Dad didn’t leave her in the car with the windows rolled up.
I loved going to work with my dad. He had an office, a gigantic desk and a large leather chair on wheels. “Gentlemen start your engines.” He was the head of the New York City Fire Department’s in-house print shop, known then as The Reproduction Unit. Even now, I get a little wistful remembering the roar of the big printing presses, the smell of ink, movable type and T-squares. As a consequence, I can engage in the great debates: ragged right vs. justified; serif vs. sans serif. Should you eliminate widows by editing text or adjusting kerning? Is Helvetica the answer to everything?
I think my dad enjoyed taking me to work with him. I was a quiet kid who did as I was told and didn’t bother anybody. I guess that’s why he didn’t think twice when he left me alone in his office once to dash out to a last minute meeting. I knew not to do anything crazy like answer the phone or open the window, but as a budding neat freak the sky high piles on my dad’s desk and floor were just too tempting to ignore.
So while he was out, I did a little straightening up. I organized the stacks according to color and height, making sure the piles were neat and straight. When that was done, I gathered up all the paper clips and hooked them together creating the longest ever stationery supply necklace. I thought if they were all together they’d always be easy to find.
I was happily spinning around in my dad’s desk chair when he got back to the office. I can’t quite describe the look on his face as he took in all the improvements I had made. I’ll bet he wished he’d left me in the car.
This nine-year-old girl’s memory of going to work with her dad will be as traumatic as mine is happy. I’m guessing he’ll be getting his Father’s Day card in prison. Might I suggest something in a Helvetica?
© 2009 Leighann Lord
A very funny lady on the stage and on the page, stand-up comedian Leighann Lord pens a weekly humor column with topics ranging from the personal to the political, from the silly to the sophisticated. Reminiscent of a modern day Erma Bombeck (famed nationally syndicated humor columnist), a fan dubbed Leighann, “The Urban Erma” and the name stuck. It’s a fun, fast read that leaves you laughing, or at least wondering why we don’t have a comprehensive mental health care plan. Visit Leighann at MySpace.
