By Leighann Lord
Half listening to the Sunday talk show clap trap, I thought I misheard Hillary Clinton when she said she had not yet met Sarah Palin, but wouldn’t mind chatting with her over a cup of coffee. I couldn’t believe these two pivotal political women weren’t personally acquainted, but then again, Sarah dissed Hil pretty hard for playing the gender card, or as Sarah called it: “whining.” I guess it’s not whining if you write it instead of say it.
I can’t say that Hillary’s coffee offer came off as completely disingenuous, but it did smack a bit of diplomacy. With Sarah Palin’s literary tour de force, Going Rogue, settling scores and naming names, maybe Hillary was just trying to keep her name out of the sequel, “Going Rogue: Part Deux.”
Sunday also marked a full week since I’d given up coffee, and the mere mention of it made me wistful. I wondered where this coffee klatsch would take place: Alaska, New York, Washington D.C.? What kind of coffee would they have: Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Tim Horton’s, or the oddly appropriate home brewed cup of Chock Full O’Nuts? How does each woman take her coffee? Straight black, decaf, caf, latte, cappuccino, espresso? Light and sweet, milk, cream, Half & Half? Real sugar, Equal or Splenda? As you can see, it’s been a rough seven days.
I am also curious if anyone has bothered looking up the definition of the word rogue. According to Dictionary.com, it’s a noun meaning “a dishonest, knavish person. A scoundrel.” As a verb, it means “to cheat.” Its synonyms: “bad egg, charlatan, con artist.” But no worries, we aren’t big on looking up words. It’s so much easier to figure them out from the way they sound. And rogue just sounds like uber-maverick doesn’t it?
This reminds of me of when President Obama was asked his opinion about the African-American Harvard Professor who was arrested for breaking into his own home. He said, the Cambridge Police “acted stupidly” and The Beer Summit was born. There probably would have been no controversy if the President had chosen a different adjective: ludicrously, preposterously, obtusely. I imagine if he’d said the police acted “sophomorically,” most people would have assumed the cop in question hadn’t finished high school.
It’s interesting that when men make plans to colloquy, it’s over alcohol, hence the infamous Beer Summit. Hillary Clinton, by contrast, said coffee. So this meeting, should it ever happen, will be a cordial but very sober sit down. And please ladies, no whining.
© 2009 Leighann Lord
A very funny lady on the stage and on the page, stand-up comedian Leighann Lord pens a weekly humor column with topics ranging from the personal to the political, from the silly to the sophisticated. Reminiscent of a modern day Erma Bombeck (famed nationally syndicated humor columnist), a fan dubbed Leighann, “The Urban Erma” and the name stuck. It’s a fun, fast read that leaves you laughing, or at least wondering why we don’t have a comprehensive mental health care plan. Follow Leighann on Twitter and become a fan on Facebook.
