NBC Announces Their New, Killer Late-Night Lineup!:
11:35pm – Failin’
12:05am – Fallin’
1:05am – Fallon
Andre Dawson just got into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Roberto Alomar missed, but was within spitting distance.
So now they’re manufacturing 3-D televisions. Ha! My grandma’s had one since 1973; sticks out three feet from her living room wall!
Ford has solved the driver’s dilemma of not much to do behind the wheel besides texting, drinking coffee, and putting on makeup. Their new cars will permit drivers to Tweet, “a feature that shows brilliance and innovation” according to the auto collision website, icrashedmycar.com.
Medical tests on Rush Limbaugh revealed “absolutely nothing wrong.” Note: They apparently didn’t do a “check-up from the neck-up”.
Warren Beatty allegedly can’t fall asleep without having sex every single night. Wow, me too! Why do ya think I’m up every night writing these jokes?
Neil Berliner is a comedy writer and practicing M.D. He has written aired lines for 11 major roasts since 2006 including Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Mario Batali, Andy Dick, Pat Cooper, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav. Join Neil on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.
