Kim Jong ll will be replaced by Kim Jong 12.
From today on, if you get invited to a New Year’s party, you are so just a replacement for someone way cooler than you who has already declined.
Howard Stern will be a judge on America’s Got Talent. Congratulations, “Judge Jewy”!
Rick Perry compares himself to Tim Tebow. I agree; neither one can “go deep.”
Michele Bachmann: “I’m a serious candidate for president, and I don’t get my facts wrong!” See, you just got two more facts wrong.
They should always hold the Olympics in Iowa. They’re the two things that nobody gives a damn about except once every four years.
Recently, bankrupt American Airlines will now allow pilots to bring iPads on board. And anything else they’d like to sell to the passengers.
All of my wine bottles are totally confused. I just moved my wine cellar up to the attic.
“Happy New Year, Everybody!”
Neil Berliner is a writer for the syndicated late-night comedy talk show, The John Kerwin Show. He is a practicing M.D. and comedy writer, and has written aired lines for 11 major roasts since 2006 including Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Mario Batali, Andy Dick, Pat Cooper, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav. Join Neil on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.
