House is being canceled. Oh, well – there’s just so many versions you can watch of a seizure followed by projectile vomiting of blood…
The Apple Computer Company is now worth more than the country, Greece. Which proves just one thing: beta testing is more profitable than feta tasting!
CNN: “Nearly 500 on Two Cruise Ships Sickened.” Yup, I finally got two cruise gigs.
Newt Gingrich said he’d like for Brad Pitt to play him in a movie. Yeah, the Brad Pitt that looks exactly like Phillip Seymour Hoffman!
Those TSA agents are constantly delaying my grandmother for hours. Just because her name is “Ima Baum”…
Michael Reagan (Ronald Reagan’s son): “I would take Newt Gingrich’s record any day over Mitt Romney’s.” Ronald Reagan: “I would take spending an afternoon at Bonzo’s, any day than over at my son Michael’s.”
