Over the Limit: Under Addressed
(@Please Tweet Responsibly)
Hi, my name is Jonathan Savitt, and I am addicted to social media.
It is easier now than ever to get a taste of the entrée that is social media. Where we are at this point in 2012, in terms of technology, is quite impressive. Earlier this year, I was welcomed to the 21st century when I exchanged my loyal flip phone for an iPhone (Pour one out for Steve Jobs). Needless to say, my addiction to Social Media went from six to midnight as “iPhoned” love in a phone less place.
The topic of social media is one of the few that relates to just about anyone and everyone in modern society. Whether it is Facebook, Twitter, or Google Plus (Seriously, does that even exist) one thing is for sure, you will not be popular unless you use social media, and that is science. Today, for instance, I gained six new friends, got invited to a party, and chatted up some babes, all before noon, mind you. This prompted me to ask myself, “Is there anything wrong with this whole social media thing?” Yes, there is, get out while you still can. What do I mean?
Recently, after much resent, I was pushed into the highly talked about Twitter game. Before I go on, I’m not blaming my friends for pushing me into getting a Twitter account, if I were you I would want to see the witty thoughts that are kept in my head too. Soon though, I discovered that Twitter is similar to college in that it is not for everyone.
Some people are not mature enough to handle the responsibility and should stick to the safe confines of MySpace or things that involve not talking to me. For this reason, it’s not Twitter that I have a problem with, but rather the few people I am following who feel the need to Tweet about their every move. With all due respect, ladies and Grandma, I was doing just fine before I knew about your obsession with Justin Bieber. Now, I know what you are thinking, “Savitt, you tweet at least five times per day” and while this may be true, let me remind you that real people with a lot of money have referred to me as the Frank Lloyd Wright of Twitter in the way that I delicately design my tweets. Now you, too, can create funny, timeless tweets for the easy payment of being my friend. Just follow the four simple rules established by me. I call it the “F.R.A.T.S” theorem (Funny Real Awkward Timely Sarcasm). By simply sticking to the highly accredited “F.R.A.T.S” theorem, no one will ever accuse you of over-tweeting again. You’re welcome.
However, because of the conflict that arises from over-tweeting, from this point forward I would like to propose two solutions onto the Twitter world:
1. A tedious application process for Twitter involving a blood test, many crossword puzzles, and an obstacle course.
2. A pre-established amount of allowed tweets for those who are frequent offenders of over-tweeting. We can call this the T/D (tweets per day) equation. The tweets per day equation could be created by taking: how many followers you have, divided by how many people you are following, multiplied by zero (How many shits I give about what you have to say). Someone had to say it.
All of this aside, I do believe that Twitter is revolutionary. It is truly amazing how one website can create so many connections. In addition, I am glad that there is now another physical way that I can measure my popularity other than just by Facebook, and I look forward to maintaining a respectable 15:1 followers to following ratio when I am famous.
Jonathan Savitt, a Psychology major and an intramural basketball player at Indiana University, is the creator of the blog, What Is This Happiness and How Can It Be? Follow Jonathan on Twitter @jsavitt.
