None of the gutless theater owners want to show my new film. They refuse to put the title up on the marquee. Check it out; it’s called, “Temporarily Closed for Renovations.”
Sometimes I feel guilty that I miss Greg Giraldo more than I miss my paternal grandmother.
Instead of getting Life Alert, those old bags in the commercial should get facelifts. Then they could attract some old geezers who’d be there to pick them up when they’ve “fallen and can’t get up.”
Our U.S.A. Olympics uniforms were made in China! This is an outrage. Our country should have people checking to make sure that this never happens again. We can call them Chinese Checkers.
If I played golf my golfer name would be “Birdie Putz.” My miniature golf name would be “Little Putz.”
Writing intelligent comedy is my passhun.
Neil Berliner is a writer for the syndicated late-night comedy talk show, The John Kerwin Show. He is a practicing M.D. and comedy writer, and has written aired lines for 11 major roasts since 2006 including Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Mario Batali, Andy Dick, Pat Cooper, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav. Join Neil on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.
