My wife and I have an infant son named Ivan. He is 13 months old. Ivan is very concerned that parents do right by their children (he is especially worried about my parenting skills). Ivan has decided to help out new parents by issuing a regular newsletter called: #TeamIvan’s: News From The Crib (#71): The Importance of “No.”
1. My husband and I have an 13-month old. We’ve heard that it’s time to start using the word “no.” Is that true? No. Just kidding. Yes, you should. No, just kidding. No, you shouldn’t… Yes. No. No, definitely no.
2. When should we say “no?” I would say you should’ve said “no” when your husband asked you to marry him.
3. How should we say “no?” I’d suggest saying it out loud.
4. How do we reinforce the message of “no” when we say it to our son? If you say “no” as you throw your husband out of 2nd story window, I think the message will start to permeate.
5. How do we illustrate “no” since our son doesn’t read yet? Have your husband offer to have sex with you and then smack the crap out of him. Alternatively, you could have your son watch a Mets game. Eventually, and likely by the 3rd inning, the Mets will do something that will cause everyone watching to cry out in unison “No!”
6. What does saying “no” teach our son? That when he grows up, he will almost never get what he wants or live the life he wants. Telling someone “yes” just leads them to grow up in a fantasy-land.
7.Is it true that “no” means “no?” Yes, except when talking to a toddler, in which case it means “go ahead and test the boundaries of my patience till I become a frazzled rag of a person.”
8. Is it okay to help our son learn foreign languages by saying “no” in other languages? Yes, I suggest starting with the Spanish “no” and going from there.
9. Will our son become too negative if he hears “no” too often? No child hears the word “no,” so there’s little risk. You can say it all you want, but he won’t get it.
10. So, what’s the point? Exactly.
Alex Barnett is a comedian-writer based in New York City. He writes News from the Crib, a parenting blog about his experiences as a new father. Barnett has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, CNN.com and NYC-TV, and has performed at clubs, colleges and venues throughout the country. Barnett, a winner of the 12th Annual Gilda’s Club Laugh-Off, is a member Comedians at Law, a group of six comics who all left the law to pursue their dream. Fans can visit him at www.alexbarnettcomic.com, find him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.
