Mitt Romney disappeared faster than a genital wart on double-dosed Valtrex.
Wishing NFL great Mike Ditka a speedy recovery after his recent stroke. Doctors say he had only minimal brain damage; so his analysis will now sound like Herm Edwards or Terry Bradshaw’s.
Scientists have just redefined the smallest unit of time. It’s from when any celebrity is announced dead to when some douche bag is compelled to post it on Facebook.
Kudos to Hector Comacho who graciously donated his fists to some bum boxer who will now beat people to a pulp much more successfully.
I know that some of you will know this, because you’re up on things, and I’ve been busy. What happened on the last episode of The Sopranos?
David Beckham is leaving the L.A. Galaxy. Oh, how cute; they give soccer teams in the U.S. names, just like sports people care about.
Neil Berliner is a writer for the syndicated late-night comedy talk show, The John Kerwin Show. He is a practicing M.D. and comedy writer, and has written aired lines for 11 major roasts since 2006 including Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Mario Batali, Andy Dick, Pat Cooper, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav. Join Neil on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.