My wife and I have an 19-month old son named Ivan. He is very concerned that parents do right by their children (he is especially worried about my parenting skills). Ivan has decided to help out new parents by issuing a regular newsletter called:
#TeamIvan’s: News From The Crib (#97) – Spring Fever.
1. My husband and I have a 19-month old son. Now that Spring is here, do you have any vacation ideas? Yes, you guys go far away. Your son will enjoy the vacation.
2. Seriously, what’s a good Spring vacation for a family with a toddler? Anywhere where people have a sense of humor and/or have toddlers of their own.
3. As we do some Spring cleaning, is it okay to let our son assist? Yes, he can show you how to stick metallic items into the electrical sockets to get them really clean.
4. Our toddler has been sneezing and waking up with mucus in her eyes. Could that be allergies? Yes, she’s probably allergic to having parents with no sense.
5. What are some good Spring seasonal meals to serve to our toddler? Anything that is easily cleaned off the floor and walls.
6. We want to take our toddler on a Spring vacation to the mountains. Any recommendations? Yes, I recommend that you remember that bears stop hibernating in Spring, and they love the smell of baby food. Also, poopy diapers attract bugs.
7. Can you recommend any companies that make lightweight but wind-resistant and warm toddler clothes for early Spring? I can. How much is it worth to you?
8. At what age can a toddler begin to play organized Spring-season sports such as baseball and soccer? Toddlers do not play “organized” anything.
9. Are there any illnesses that are unique to Spring and that we should guard our toddler against? Yes, the disease that causes people to end sentences with a preposition such as “against” is a malady of which you should be fearful. Make sure your toddler learns to speak properly.
10. Is it possible that our toddler’s moods are responsive to the weather outside? Yes, it’s possible. Anything’s possible. You had a child, and for years, no one even thought you could care for yourself. Try not to do the same kind of job on junior that you did on yourself.
