The Perfect Bag: Part 3
Thou Shall Covet Thy Neighbor’s Purse
My pursuit of The Perfect Purse is not limited to the retail arena. I keep an eagle eye out in the field as well. I am constantly sizing up, appraising, and assessing what other women are using to tote around their necessities.
If I want more details, a sincere “Hey nice bag!” is enough to get a woman talking; and most are quite forthcoming. Occasionally, a selfish chic will hold out and won’t tell me where she bagged her bag. She may even try to throw me off by telling me she procured her purse in another country. That doesn’t phase me. Unless she found it in another dimension, I’ll track it down. Even then, I’m a sci-fi fan. I’ll work it out.
My friend Khumura has a great bag: Big, black, zip top, contrasting interior, multiple roomy inner and outer compartments. I damn near cried. The bag was hot. I was sprung. If I were a different kind a woman – more in touch with my dark side – I would have indulged in a little selective bag snatching. What’s a mugging between friends?
Imagine my surprise when Khumura called and offered to “give” me the bag. “Stop playing!” I said. “Are you serious?”
“I haven’t used it in forever,” she said. “I remembered how much you liked it so if you want it, you can have it.”
“If” I want it? It was all I could do not to drive to her house right then and there. Oh, if only my transporter was fully functional. It sounded too good to be true. Why would anybody give up such a great bag? Why not hold on to it “just in case.”
But my friend Khumura is a true minimalist. Her home is beautiful, open, airy and extremely uncluttered. Unlike me, she doesn’t hold onto things she’s not using. My inner pack rat doesn’t fully comprehend this. I imagine it’s how highly evolved human beings live in the future where there’s no war, disease or public storage facilities.
When I picked up the bag from her (a respectable 21 hours and 31 minutes later) it was even better than I remembered: Solidly stitched sturdy leather straps, reinforced outer bottom corners, snap closures on the outer pockets. I reveled in my unexpected good fortune but I wondered how in the world my friend could part with such a perfect and sexy specimen of a bag. But alas, it’s The Perfect Bag for me, not her. She was gracious enough to know that and let it go. I am grateful and I commend her.
I am also inspired. Maybe there should be some sort of organized bag swap; a time, place, and space where women bring bags currently languishing under beds and in the backs of closets. The bag I despise, another woman might love. A bag could find its true owner and a woman could find her perfect purse. Wow, is it getting warm in here or is it just me? Okay, somebody out there needs to host a handbag exchange party. Any takers?
In the meantime, my best advice is: if you see something, say something. Don’t be shy. If you really like someone’s bag, tell them. That sincere compliment, coupled with a longing look, could plant the seed that someday brings you and beloved bag together.
© 2009 Leighann Lord
A very funny lady on the stage and on the page, stand-up comedian Leighann Lord pens a weekly humor column with topics ranging from the personal to the political, from the silly to the sophisticated. Reminiscent of a modern day Erma Bombeck (famed nationally syndicated humor columnist), a fan dubbed Leighann, “The Urban Erma” and the name stuck. It’s a fun, fast read that leaves you laughing, or at least wondering why we don’t have a comprehensive mental health care plan. Visit Leighann at MySpace.
